Nailing Christmas

While strolling along looking at Christmas lights, my date and I stopped before a lawn with a nativity scene, where there was a small crowd, fidgeting. The crowd was abuzz because the cradle for baby Jesus was empty, and whispered speculation was that he had been stolen. Quite involuntarily, and before she realized what she was saying, my date declared, “They should have nailed him down.”

Adults Only

A beautiful young woman walked down the street, a real head-turner with long auburn hair, green sweater, torn nylons, and polka dot skirt. A car pulled up to the sidewalk nearby, and a middle-aged man climbed out the car door. The man scurried passed the woman and, without giving the beauty even a single glance, ducked into the local porn theatre.